Over on the Racketboy forums, the Together Retro theme for March is "Eighties Ladies' Night" where the idea to is play games released in 1980s with playable female protagonists. So of course, being me, I had to start things off raunchy with one of Mystique's infamous "adult" video games, Beat 'Em and Eat 'Em. For obvious reasons - partly decency, partly Weebly's terms of service, and partly so the Racketboy moderators don't castrate me - this will review will be sans screenshots.
Beat 'Em and Eat 'Em is, truthfully, nothing more than Kaboom! with porn shoved into it. Instead of a terrorist at the top of a building throwing bombs, there's a naked guy with a dick that's legit got to be at least 3 feet long and 9 inches in girl jerking off. Instead of playing as a basket that catches bomb, you play as a pair of large breasted women who catch semen. In their mouths. Yeah...Not exactly the most creative or original premise, but it works, I guess.
Being an Atari 2600 game, it's not exactly sporting impressive visuals, but you can clearly tell what everything is supposed to be (I'll leave it up to you whether that's a good thing or a bad thing). The game uses the paddle controllers and controls surprisingly well although not quite as well as Kaboom! Everything feels just a little touchy and overly sensitive compared to Kaboom!
Beat 'Em and Eat 'Em is certainly an interesting Kaboom! clone, and a pretty good one, but it's not the kind of game you necessarily want to play around people you don't know well, and it's certainly not a cheap game. For just the cartridge, you'd be looking at $50 to $60, and if you're going for the complete box, you can expect to pay anywhere from $80 to $200 depending on condition and how many are listed at the time. It's really not good for much other than a quirky "wtf" collection piece which is why I have a copy. Or if you're just into SUPER pixelated porn. I mean, if that's your thing, you do you.
My Rating - 3 Neps
I'm a teacher.
And I like to play video games. I like to collect video games. I like to talk about video games, and I like to write about video games. During the day, I teach high school history; during the night, I spend my spare time gaming. Then I write about it.