Also available on iOS
Anybody want to play a game that blends Professor Layton and Elite Beat Agent but with none of the charm or fun of either? Boom. Rhythm Thief has you covered. It's not that the game's bad. It's not a bad game. It's just not a good game. It's ridiculously okay, and as I've said a gazillion times before and will doubtlessly say a gazillion times in the future, that's just about the worse thing a game can be in my opinion
It looks very much like Professor Layton in terms of art style, and a lot of the gameplay is very reminiscent of Elite Beat Agents (hence my previous analogy), but it's a death by a thousand cuts sort of situation. The games only flaws are mostly minor, but good lord, there are a lot of minor flaws. To start with, the story is boring af. There's some magic relics that the somehow not dead Napoleon is trying to collect to construct a magic superweapon that's connected to Babylonia...somehow...and your dad is sort of connected to all of it...somehow....and there's this blonde chick who's got the Violin of Time or whatever, and the Illuminati are trying to kidnap her for some eldritch ritual. Then you see your dad like twice but then you sort of forget about him because he's never mentioned after that. Then Napoleon isn't actually the 200 year dead Napoleon, but that's never explained either. And the superweapon flies and controls weather, but that's never explained either. Literally the only redeeming thing about the story is that there's a kid who's transgender but they never make a big deal out of it. That's cool to see normalized. Other than that, it's like a story that tried to be big and dramatic and failed on all fronts.
The rhythm games - the core of the gameplay - are fine. They're nothing special, but they're fine. Some of the controls when it has you tilt the 3DS or slide across the touch screen are really finicky and don't seem quite as accurate as they should be, but everything works decently well aside from that. It's just hella average. And that's the game's biggest weakness - it's just average. It's not memorable in any way, shape or form. Duke Nukem Forever is memorable because of what a let down it was for most fans after such a long wait. ET was memorable because it was the straw that broken the camel's back with regards to the industry's collapse. Superman 64 was memorable because what the actual fuck. Rhythm Thief has nothing going for it. It's not good enough to be loved, and it's not bad enough to be remembered in infamy. There is a cool dog named after cheese, though.
Avoid Rhythm Thief. It's not an obstacle to conquer because of bad controls or unbalanced difficulty. It's not a joy to play with catchy music and responsible controls. It's not a thrilling narrative with well developed characters. The voice acting is horrible. The plot has more holes in it than Osama bin Laden after Operation Neptune Spear. Like, the only things I actually liked about it was the normalized transgender kid the inclusion of a tiny sliver of Babylonian mythology. That's it. The rest sucked
My Rating - 2 Neps
I'm Mr. Deck
And I like to play video games. I like to collect video games. I like to talk about video games, and I like to write about video games. During the day, I teach history at a high school in central North Carolina; during the night, I spend my spare time gaming. Then I write about it.