Also available on Xbox One, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Stadia, and Windows

Cyberpunk 2077 is the quintessential example of corporate bosses ruining the artistic vision of game developers in my opinion.  When this game was revealed, it had the potential to be the greatest open world game ever made, and in the state it's in today, it's a solidly great game.  When it launched, though...Jesus Christ, it was a disaster.  It was playable on PC at launch, but if you were using a PS4 or Xbox One - especially base model instead of a PS4 Pro or Xbox One X - you were in for a miserable time.  Frame rate was a disaster, bugs galore many of which were game-breaking, and a generally muddled resolution and craptastic frame rate were what gamers were treated to.  Playing via backwards compatibility on PS5 or Xbox Series X was, like PC, playable, but it still wasn't what CD Projekt Red had hyped us up for.  With all of that said, that's why it sat on my shelf for a year and a half before I played it.  I tried it on my One X when it came out, but I didn't actually play more than an hour until the Series X optimization patch dropped.  I wanted to experience the best possible version of this game so I could judge the game on its merits rather than the incompetence of CD Projekt Red (regardless of whether it was the development or publishing wing to blame).

Cyberpunk 2077 takes place in the world built by a long-standing tabletop RPG series.  Like most people who probably played this game, I've had no experience with the series.  Basically, you play as V, a merc in Night City doing whatever jobs pay the bills and trying to become a legend of Night City's seedier side.  You end up with the mental construct of famed terrorist Johnny Silverhand in your head, though - basically sharing your brain with his soul.  Since Johnny Silverhand is played by Keanu Reeves, you shouldn't need to hear anything else to sell you on this game.  The game mostly lets you play how you want; you can choose from three backgrounds (gangbanger garbage, corporate scum, or glorious nomad), you can get through most of the game either by killing or non-fatally incapacitating your foes, and even lock yourself out of entire quest lines depending on the choices you make.  There's not a morality system per se, but your choices absolutely impact various aspects of the game.

The game's visuals look, at least on Series X, fantastic.  It definitely looks better than it did on One X a year and a half ago.  On Series X, you can choose between a higher frame rate with more basic visual effects or ray tracing at 30 fps.  The ray tracing can be pretty noticeable at certain times of day, but at other times of day, it really doesn't look at that different from the non-ray tracing mode.  With that said, I personally think the added visual effects of the ray tracing just isn't worth the constantly very noticeable drop in frame rate.  That said, though, on the performance mode, I only noticed frame rate drops when transitioning to a different part of Night City (although it visibly stuttered at those points).  The game's audio design is also fantastic with some great voice acting and a truly killer soundtrack.  Honestly, the soundtrack is one of the best parts of the game.

The game plays a lot like what you expect from a gun-based RPG from CDPR.  The gunplay isn't quite as accurate in my opinion as a true first person shooter, but it's significantly better with accuracy than Fallout.  The driving mechanics can also take a little bit of getting used to - it feels like your wheels are coated in Crisco - but once you do get a feel for it, driving is actually one of the most fun parts of the game.  I really can't say enough good things about the gameplay itself.  Unfortunately, even after a year and a half of patching and fixing and playing on the most powerful home console released thus far, it's riddled with bugs.  These bugs are almost all thankfully dumb and often funny glitches rather than game-breaking bugs, but I did have to close and reload to fix a few, and it's just unacceptable to have this many bugs this persistent in a game with this large a budget this long after launch.  It's a shame because it really just gives the game a sloppy and utterly unpolished feel. 

Cyberpunk 2077 is absolutely worth playing if you have a PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X, or powerful PC.  I'm gonna say to avoid it if you only have last-gen consoles.  It's definitely a lot better than it was at launch, but those consoles just don't have the horsepower the game needs to be done justice.  CD Projekt Red needs to take a step back and take a long, hard look at its practices, though, because they definitely overpromised and underdelivered with this one.  That said, the game is a TON of fun in the state it's in now 18 months post-launch.  Hopefully they'll learn from this game's disaster of a launch, but I've learned better than to trust corporations to learn from their mistakes.

Also available on Xbox One, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Stadia, Luna, Linux, macOS, and Windows

Metro Exodus is the latest entry in the Metro series, a series of first-person shooters with a horror element based on novels by Russian author Dmitry Glukhovsky (don't worry, he's a vocal opponent of Putin's invasion of Ukraine).  Exodus took a sort of pseudo-open world format, something I'll explain in a bit, which was the game's biggest diversion from the last two games in the series.

The most important thing to know up-front if you're going into Exodus after Last Light is that the game is a direct sequel, but it specifically takes place after the good ending of Last Light.  I got the bad ending (because I can't stop murdering people I think need murdering), and I was VERY confused when I started Exodus because I wasn't aware of that.  "Why aren't you dead?"  "Why is he here?"  "What's going on?!?"  So just keep that in mind.  The premise of the game is that Artyom learns that there are suvivors outside of Moscow, something that no one thought was the case, so through some plot events, he and a handful of Spartan Rangers end up taking a train on a long journey out of Moscow to look for survivors and see what the state of the world and Russia are.

Visually, the game looks great.  Granted, I'm playing the Series X version, but at the end of the day, it's an 8th gen game that just got polished up to 9th gen kind of like how 2033 Redux and Last Light Redux were just remastered 7th gen games, not true 8th gen games.  I mention that because, looking at the screenshots, a lot of people are going to point out that it doesn't look as good as games made specifically for PS5 and Series X, and that's fair.  That said, though, it's a huge step up from 2033 and Last Light, so credit where it's due; it looks pretty solid for a game from 2019.  The voice acting, while still a bit wonky for some characters, is generally better than in the older games.

I described the game as "pseudo-open world," and what I mean by that is that you get to explore each of the game's areas like you would in an open world game, but the game is divided into distinct sections that don't transition fluidly into one another, and you can't move between regions at will.  This part of the game is in Part A, then when you finish that main quest, you move into Part B for the next part of the game.  It's a good way to do it that fits the game's story way better than a true open world design, but with gaming's current belief that "open world is best," it's worth noting up front.

Metro Exodus is an excellent entry in an already pretty solid series.  It's not going to blow anyone's mind with visuals, gameplay, or story, but it's extremely competent in all of those areas.  Unfortunately, the aren't any Nazis to murder, but there are some cultists and cannibals, so that's a decent consolation murder.  The story is much less supernatural than 2033 and more grounded in, for lack of a better phrase, reality, but I was a bit let down by the ending.  Of course, my murder sprees got me the bad ending again, and while the good ending is definitely better, it's still wasn't super satisfying in my opinion.  Still, like Mass Effect 3, don't let the disappointing ending dissuade you; the ride is more than worth the play.

Also available on PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Xbox One, Switch, Stadia, Linux, OSX, and Windows

Also available on Steam

​When it comes to visual novels starring scantily clad and well-endowed anime women, I’m easy to please.  Sakura Angels checks all of those requirements for me.  As part of the long-running Sakura series (not to be confused with Sakura Wars), you pretty much know what to expect from Sakura Angels if you’ve played anything else in the series - big tiddy waifu characters, a short and fairly shallow story, and character tropes for days.  For the sake of transparency, I’ll state up front that Gamuzumi sent me a Switch code for Sakura Angels for review.  Thanks so much, Gamuzumi!

​The premise of the game is pretty typical.  A high school boy finds himself thrust into a bizarre magical-girl scenario where large-breasted magical girls end up enrolling in his school, get put in his class, and end up being his new BFFs to protect him from the mysterious evil forces that want him for some reason.  It’s basically the plot of every other anime on Crunchyroll, so if you’re looking for an original or especially compelling story, look elsewhere; the story is just an excuse for the boobs here.  The main characters are both straight up tropes; there’s a bubbly girl with brown hair with a seemingly-aloof-but-actually-commanding personality, and a tsundere girl with pink hair.  Again, not deep or unique characters, but they’re not supposed to be.  Tropes provide a comfortable context for characters, and this game is the epitome of comfort food for degenerate weebs like me.

​The game is super short (although I prefer the phrase “bite sized”) with my play clocking in at about three hours.  Like I said, it’s comfort food; if you have a bad day at work, you can come home and enjoy a mindless bite-sized lewd game on your Switch.  For a lot of people, the length would be the biggest turn off, and for $10, I do think it’s a bit too short; I think $5 would be a more appropriate price for the game.  Still, though, I enjoyed my brief time with it.  It’s cute and entertaining enough that I would definitely recommend it for fans of the genre if you see it on sale for 50% or more off.  I can’t recommend it at full price, though; it’s just not long, original, or compelling enough to justify a $10 price tag.

Also available on Xbox 360, Xbox One, Switch, Stadia, Linux, OSX, and Windows

​One of my favorite types of games is post-apocalypse, and that’s especially true when it’s a nuclear apocalypse that leans into the “horrific mutations” trope.  It’s why Fallout is one of my favorite game series.  Metro may not scratch that itch for me quite the way that Fallout does, but it does fit the bill nicely with an interestingly non-American setting.  Granted, April 2022 is not exactly when I’m keen on having a Russian protagonist in my game, but Metro 2033 *does* allow me to kill Nazis, communists, and mutated creatures all in one game, so I’ll deal with playing as a Russian.

​Metro 2033 is based on a book of the same title by Russian author Dmitry Glukhovsky.  The premise is that an isolated nuclear exchange in 2013 quickly expanded into a global nuclear holocaust; in Moscow, where the game takes places, only a few dozen thousand of the city’s several million residents managed to escape into the metro system that served as makeshift fallout shelters.  20 years after the bombs fell, the surface is still horribly toxic and irradiated; traversal is impossible without a gas mask, and radiation is a constant concern not to mention the monstrous mutants roaming the city ruins.  As such, what human life remains is in micro-states at the metro’s various stations.  You’ve got Hanza, a network of brutally capitalist trade stations, the Red Line (your obligatory Russian communists), the Reich (the also obligatory neo-Nazis), a handful of free stations, and Polis which is the headquarters of the Spartan Rangers.  These Rangers are the sort of “white knights” of the metro (or as close as you get, anyway), trying to set up FOBs on the surface and reclaim what humanity once had but lost.

​The game focuses around Artyom, a resident of the free station of Exhibition who finds himself on a quest to make it to Polis and deliver a message to the leader of the Rangers (which, in typical video game fashion, turns into a grander quest for Artyom).  Along the way, Artyom must deal with raiders, Nazis, communists, and mutants galore.  With the original releases on PS3 and 360, Metro 2033 played very much like a horror game with very scarce ammo, spongey enemies, and an emphasis on stealth.  With the Metro Redux remasters on PS4, Xbox One, and Switch, however, you can swap between the horror-esque original format and the more action-oriented focus that the sequel, Metro Last Light, took.  I’ve played it both ways, but I tend to prefer the heavier action for Metro.  Both ways of playing are excellent, however, and you can’t go wrong either way.

​Unfortunately, the remaster leaves a bit to be desired.  On the plus side, the game does hit a native 1080p and a consistent 60 fps as opposed to the 720p and target 30 fps of the original release.  On the other hand, using the PS5 to play it via backwards compatibility was a little underwhelming.  I understand that not every game is going to have enhancements to take advantage of the power of the Series X and PS5, and that’s totally okay, but what isn’t okay is the pretty severe screen tearing that I saw in some of the cutscenes.  Screen tearing is the most jarring performance issue you can have short of outright crashes in my opinion, and it really killed the experience in places.  Fortunately, this is mainly an issue in cutscenes, but it did pop up here and there during the faster action scenes of gameplay.

​As a whole, Metro 2033 is a fun game that’s definitely worth playing for fellow apocalypse junkies like me, but definitely play the remaster if you have the chance.  It’s still not perfect with the screen tearing, but the performance and visuals are much better than the original release (plus is just a lot more accessible with the lack of the backwards compatibility that the current generation has with the older 7th generation consoles).  It falls short of Fallout for nuclear apocalypse action as well as Resident Evil for survival horror, but I think it strikes a solid balance between the two that makes it worth playing as its own unique hybrid of action and horror.

Also available on Switch and Windows

Metal Slug 1st Mission was a good handheld adaptation of the Metal Slug series, but it very much felt "good" rather than "great."  That's almost completely remedied in Metal Slug 2nd Mission.  Pretty much everyone about the game is improved here, and it's one of the best examples of a sequel done right that I've played lately.  As a disclaimer, the screenshots are from the Switch release included in Neo Geo Pocket Color Selection Vol 1 since I can't capture screenshots from my actual Neo Geo Pocket.

The first major change worth noting is that there are two playable characters, a dude and a chick.  You'll get some different story tidbits throughout the game depending on which character you pick, and while I haven't played through the game enough times to test this fully, what stages you play seems to depend at least in part on your character of choice.  There are just over three dozen stages, and they seem to be mostly split down the middle with a few shared between the two.  Considering that the previous game had seventeen stages, that's a big improvement.  The game also looks and sounds significantly nicer with better graphics, sound effects (including some great explosion sounds and lot of voice work), and music.

One of the improvements between 1st Mission and 2nd Mission that will most often benefit players is the improved weapon diversity.  In addition to the airplane and the titular Metal Slug, there's also a submarine that you use in a couple of missions.  Your array of weapon drops is expanded as well with some truly awesome weapons like the flamethrower and missile launcher, two of the most powerful weapons in the game.  You'll need the added firepower, too, as the bosses seemed to take way more damage to destroy compared to the previous game.  You'll also have aliens to contend with in the latter half of the game in addition to the regular human enemies.

Metal Slug 2nd Mission is a huge improvement on the previous game in pretty much every way.  There's still a lot of slow down when things get really busy on screen, and this is especially common when you're using the missile launcher, but even with the slow down, it's an extraordinarily fun game that definitely surpasses my expectations.  The Neo Geo Pocket is pretty much the best handheld for arcade titles up until the DS or arguably the 3DS, and that definitely shows with games like this.  Metal Slug 2nd Mission pushes SNK's little handheld to its limits, and it definitely deserves your attention.

Also available on Switch and Windows

Metal Slug is one of SNK's most beloved series, so when their handheld game system came out back in the 90s, they obviously had to put a Metal Slug game on there.  Being a 90s handheld system, Metal Slug 1st Mission for the Neo Geo Pocket is obviously SIGNIFICANTLY scaled back from its arcade roots, but despite the hardware limitations, it still manages to feel pretty authentically Metal Slug.  As a disclaimer, the screenshots are from the Switch release included in Neo Geo Pocket Color Selection Vol 1 since I can't capture screenshots from my actual Neo Geo Pocket.

One of the most impressive things about this first handheld Metal Slug game is its length.  Not all of the levels are super long, but there are seventeen levels in the game.  Most of the main series games have somewhere around half a dozen levels, and while those levels are longer, they're also running on much more capable hardware.  Considering that the Neo Geo Pocket was a Game Boy contemporary, 1st Mission has an impressive amount of content.  The controls aren't nearly as smooth as on the MVS, but they work surprisingly well given the system's limited button inputs.  You obviously move with the thumbstick on the left.  With the A and B buttons, one is jump and one is fire.  The option button lets you switch between your gun and grenades.  An inelegant control scheme, but it works and makes the most of the buttons available.

You play as an unnamed "Hero" although everyone who's familiar with the series immediately knows that it's Marco.  After you finish the game, you unlock a female to play as, but she plays exactly the same with absolutely no changes whatsoever to the story.  The missions are all fairly straight forward.  With most of them, you just have to kill your way to the end, although there are some where you have to fight your way to a boss whom you have to kill, and there's one super cool mission where you're on a little handcar and have to catch up to the front of a moving cargo train.  The sprites aren't amazing, but they look fine especially considering the hardware.  The audio is the same; it's certainly no bad, but it's not going to impress you with the sound effects or the music.

Metal Slug 1st Mission definitely doesn't stand up to its arcade counterparts, but as a 90s handheld game, it's extremely competent.  When you consider the fact that there are 17 missions, it's a more robust offering than a lot of handheld games of the era.  It can be pretty tough until you get a handle on the controls, although the Switch port definitely makes that less of an issue with the ability to remap buttons as well as a rewind function.  Whether you play on SNK's nearly 30 year old handheld or Nintendo's newest handheld, it's a game worth playing.

Also available on Switch and Windows

Like Armed 7 and Salazius Next, the last two games I reviewed, Wolflame is a truly excellent Dreamcast shmup made by genius team at Astro Port.  Unlike those two games, it's not included in Shmup Collection on Wii U, but it fortunately is included in the Shmup Collection on Switch.  Real OGs, however, will play this on Dreamcast.  As a disclaimer, the screenshots here are taken from the Switch port so as to avoid having to borrow someone else's screenshots as I don't have the ability at the moment to capture screenshots from Dreamcast hardware.

Unlike Armed 7 and Salazius Next, Wolflame is a vertically scrolling shooter.  Personally, I much prefer the vertical scrolling to horizontal scrolling, so this was a great change of pace for me after playing two horizontally scrolling shooters.  Like the two aforementioned games, Astro Port did a fantastic job with every aspect of this game.  The sprite art, as always, is fantastic, and I personally think that this has the best music of any of their games to date (at least the ones that I've played).  As always, tight controls bring an exceptionally fun and responsive shooter, and when you die, you always know it's your fault.  You won't find any cheap or BS deaths here.

The only thing really keeping Wolflame from perfection are the lack of multiplayer.  The difficulty curve is extremely fair, the bosses are tough but not insurmountable, and each of the three weapon pick-up types are totally distinct and have their own roles.  It would have been cool to see some environmental hazards in the level design like with Salazius Next, but as a more traditional vertical shmup, Wolflame is hard to beat.  Being on the Dreamcast is yet another check in its column.

Also available on Wii U, Switch, and Windows

Satazius Next, like Armed 7, is not only a relatively recent release for the ill-fated and underappreciated (at least during its life) Dreamcast, but it's also among the finest shmups I've ever played.  Once again, the folks at Astro Port have produced a truly exceptional and breathtaking Dreamcast shooter and, to my infinite pleasure, seen fit to port it both to the Switch as well as my beloved Wii U.  ​As a disclaimer, the screenshots here are taken from the Switch port so as to avoid having to borrow someone else's screenshots as I don't have the ability at the moment to capture screenshots from Dreamcast hardware.

Satazius Next, like Armed 7, is a horizontally scrolling shooter, but Astro Port really went above and beyond with this one.  Like their other games, the sprites are fantastic and the music exceptional, and the controls are as tight as responsive as you could possibly hope for.  What makes Satazius stand out, though, is the incredible level design.  In most shmups, the enemies and their shots are your main danger - hence the colloquial nickname "bullet hell" - and any obstacles in the level are mostly just a minor annoyance to add a little extra challenge.  While not to understate the threat that the enemies pose to you, that formula gets flipped on its head in Satazius Next.  Especially after the first couple of levels, the obstacles and physical design of the levels is definitely your greatest threat while the enemies mostly serve to exacerbate that threat by limiting your movement with their shots.  I very rarely died to enemy fire in this game, but the level itself killed me a LOT.  There are tons of platformers with ingeniously brutal level designs and layouts, but Satazius Next is one of the few shmups I've played with equally diabolical level designs, and it makes the game feel totally different to most of the genre.  With multiple difficulty levels and weapons to unlock and level up, there's a lot of replay value here, too.

Satazius Next took me over twice as long to clear on Easy as Armed 7 did just because of how difficult the levels got.  Once you get to the second half of the game, the brutal levels are accompanied by some seriously damage-sponge bosses, too.  It's certainly not the hardest shmup I've ever played, but it's one that poses a genuine challenge as opposed to just being generally "hard," if that distinction makes any sense.  You have to memorize not just enemy patterns but level layouts, and that's something most of the genre doesn't require, at least  not to this extent.  It made for a refreshing (even if frustrating) experience, and I truly can't recommend this game highly enough.  It's definitely in my Top 10 Shmups of All Time list now.

Also available on Wii U, Switch, and Windows

Armed 7 is proof that the Dreamcast is still getting great games in the many years following its last "official" release thanks to the folks at Astro Port.  Having since been ported to Wii U and Switch as part of Shmup Collection as well as being released on Steam, Armed 7 is an exemplar of horizontal shooter excellence.  As a disclaimer, all screenshots were captured from the Switch version so as to avoid having to borrow someone else's screenshots.

Armed 7 is a retro-styled arcade shmup that not only captures the feel of the 16-bit era perfectly but, in my opinion, surpasses most of the offerings from that era.  The visuals are colorful with gorgeous sprite work, the music is fantastic and upbeat enough to capture the action of a shmup but not so much that it distracts the player, and best of all, the controls are perfectly tight and responsive without the slightest hint of delay.  With seven stages each capped with a boss and four difficulty settings, it's approachable for newcomers but challenging for veterans.  It's not quite perfect - multiplayer would have been a welcome addition - but it's damn close.

Armed 7 is one of the best shmups on the Dreamcast, and it's a welcome addition to the Shmup Collection compilations on Switch and Wii U.  While most folks won't play it on actual Dreamcast hardware, it plays like a dream no matter your platform of choice.  Unless you're going for the physical Wii U release of Shmup Collection from Europe, it's affordably priced and a definite must-own for any shmup fan.

Also available on PlayStation 5, Google Stadia, and Windows

A little over a decade ago, a quirky little RPG called Cthulhu Saves the World made its debut on the Xbox 360 Indie storefront.  I didn't have a 360 at the time, but as soon as I got one about three years later, it was among the first games that I downloaded.  The entire premise of an RPG in which an eldritch evil saves the world rather than destroying it was enough to lure me in, and the humor in the game was spot on.  Years later, a holiday themed prequel comes along.  When Limited Run Games did a physical printing of this Christmas prequel, you know I had to jump on it.

Cthulhu Saves Christmas starts with, obviously, Cthulhu waking up in this bed in R'lyeh to find a present in his room.  Upon opening the present, he realizes that it's actually an anti-present of sorts; instead of getting something, his powers are magically taken.  Assuming that Santa was the culprit, he sets off to slay the slovenly saint, but he soon discovers that it was not actually Santa who stole his powers but the Christmas League of Evil, a group of Christmas-themed villains who have kidnapped Santa and seek to destroy Christmas.  Without Santa, Christmas will never come.  Clearly, the Grinch was an amateur who didn't have the first clue about how to actually steal Christmas.

The gameplay is a throwback to classic 8-bit and 16-bit JRPGs.  You explore an overworld, open chests to find items, and battle enemies in a turn based format.  Each area is capped with a boss at the end, and between areas, you'll have the opportunity to do a few side events out of a sizeable list to develop relationships with NPCs, gain better equipment, and generally flesh out the humor of the story.  That's really where this game most excels - the humor.  The writing in this game is absolutely hilarious, and it references not only Lovecraft (obviously) but also a slew of European myths as well as 4th-wall-breaking jokes.  Not even game can pull that off, but this and its predecessor are the only ones I've played that can match Neptunia for well-delivered meta jokes.

Visually, the pixel sprites are gorgeous, and the game world looks fantastic, too.  The music, while not jaw-dropping or anything, is excellent and never gets stale or annoying.  The game has several difficulty levels from which to choose ranging from probably-too-easy to brutally challenging.  When you finish the game, there's also a New Game+ to enjoy where you keep your characters, levels, items, etc.  Since you can increase or decrease difficulty in-game via the menu, New Game+ is perfect for turning up the difficulty for a replay.

Cthulhu Saves Christmas is a perfect game for the holidays as it's not too long - only five or six hours - so you can play through it at Christmas and still have plenty of time to spend with your family.  If, like me, you got distracted and Christmas and are playing this a month later, it's the perfect length for a single evening or two of gaming.  At $10, it's a definite step up in price from Cthulhu Saves the World, but it's also a whole leap forward in quality, and I think that's a very reasonable price for the game that you get.  It's extra enjoyable if you've played Cthulhu Saves the World (which is, unfortunately, now only available on PC; fingers crossed for a port to modern consoles), but even if you haven't played that, this is a fantastic experience in and of itself.  I only wish it were longer.

Also available on Android, iOS, and Windows

Lost Phone Stories is actually a compilation of two games, A Normal Lost Phone and Another Lost Phone: Laura's Story.  Both games follow the same format; you find a lost phone and, as one does, invade the owner's privacy by rutting around through the phone's contents and trying to deduce passwords to facilitate further privacy invasion.  It's basically like an NSA agent simulator.

A Normal Lost Phone has you invade the privacy of Sam, a normal kid stuck in a conservative and podunk small town.  Another Lost Phone: Laura's Story, as the title suggests, has you invade the privacy of Laura, a woman trying to balance her work life, her social life, and her love life.  I'm not going to say anything else about these characters or their stories because the entire point of the game is piece together what their lives are like based on text messages, emails, and the like that you find in their phone.  As such, pretty much any other details would spoil the games.

Like Bury Me, My Love, the whole game is a phone screen.  Being the sequel, Another Lost Phone has a nicer looking and more intuitive interface, but both games are pretty simple to figure out.  You'll start off with a phone that has text messages, emails, a few apps that require passwords to access, and no internet access.  You'll need to figure out the password to the open wifi network to access some of the emails and whatnot, and you'll need to figure out the passwords to the locked apps.  These passwords can be deduced by investigating the messages to which you do have access.  As you read through these messages, you piece together not only the passwords to the locked apps but the lives of the people whose phones you have and the secret struggles with which they've been dealing.

There's more I'd like to say about A Normal Lost Phone and Another Lost Phone: Laura's Story, but unfortunately, doing so would spoil major parts of the games, and since the "big reveal" in each game is pretty impactful (albeit easily predictable in Laura's case), I'll end my review with this - play these games.  They're short at about two hours each (less if you're better at figuring shit out than I am), and they're well-worth the playtime and cheap cost of admission.  They may not knock your socks off, but I was thoroughly impressed with how so simple a game concept could have me so quickly get sucked into this character's life and wanting to know more.  It's not "exciting" per se, but it is quite interesting, so if you're into more thought-provoking games with good social messages, these are probably up your alley.

Also available on Android, iOS, and Windows

Every now and then, you play a game that you expect to be just okay, and it ends up just completely blowing you away.  Bury Me, My Love was that game for me.  It's also an example of when bringing a mobile game to Switch isn't just a pointless cash grab; this may have originally been a mobile game that makes the most sense on mobile, but this is no Forge of Empires or Candy Crush.  This is a game that should honestly be ported to PlayStation and Xbox, too, just so that more people can have a chance to play it.

Bury Me, My Love tells the story of Nour, a Syrian woman fleeing the civil war as a refugee, as she makes the long and perilous journey to Europe.  An important thing to note about the title is that this isn't a "you know the end before you get there" situation where you know Nour is going to die on the way; "bury me, my love" is a common Syrian phrase that basically means "Be careful and don't die before I do."  The entire game is a text message conversation between Nour and her husband, Majd, as whom you play.  As far as gameplay format goes, it's basically a visual novel, but the fact that you literally only ever see a phone screen makes it pretty unique as far as visual novels go.  There are no character animations, and there's no CGI; it's just chat bubbles, the occasional picture message, and a map you can pull up to track Nour's journey.  It's totally unique, at least as far as games I've played go, and it helps to really get you invested in the characters and the story because you feel like you're the one texting Nour even if your do only have two or three options whenever the game allows you to make a dialogue choice.

One of the great things about Bury Me, My Love is how much replay value there is; there are a ton of options in this game, and the endings can vary wildly.  Will Nour make it to Germany, will she end up stuck in Turkey, or will she end up going all the way to France?  As you converse with her throughout her journey and give her advice on what she should do in various situations, where she ends up and what she experiences changes dramatically.  The game is only a few hours long per playthrough, but you'll need several playthroughs to see all of the various endings Nour's journey can have.  Knowing that each choice can have huge impacts on the ending and that there are, as far as I can tell, no truly pointless choices makes some of these choices feel pretty stressful for the player as you don't always have any real information to go on regarding what the better choice would be; you've gotta just go with your gut and guess.

The thing I love the most about this game is how it really highlights the Syrian refugee crisis.  The game is several years old by this point, so the situation in Syria isn't quite what it was when the game was made, but Syria is still the largest displacement crisis in the world with over five and a half million Syrian refugees according to the United Nations, and Syria isn't the only refugee crisis even in that part of the world.  While this is just a short indie game, it highlights the crisis in a personal way by showing you the perils these refugees endure just to have a chance at living in peace and safety.  The game itself may be a work of fiction, but it's very much based on real situations and real people, and those people deserve attention and representation.

Bury Me, My Love is, in my opinion, a must-play for Switch owners.  Hell, even if you don't have a Switch, you probably have a cell phone, and given that the game is entirely contained within a text message exchange, it's perfectly suited for mobile.  Even being fictional, it puts a much more personal face on the issue of refugees and asylum seekers, in a world increasingly disrupted by civil unrest and climate change, we could all use a bit of sympathy and compassion where refugees are concerned.  It'll only take you a few hours to finish a single playthrough, and it's a really great, moving story, so give it a download on your phone, Switch, or computer.  I promise that you won't be disappointed.

Also available on PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, and Windows

Would You Like to Run an Idol Café? is a visual novel that's pretty much exactly what I want in a visual novel; cute anime girls one of whom each fills a part of the Holy Trinity of Waifus - Cat Girl, Childhood Friend, and Quiet Weirdo.  While many visual novels go beyond this sacred set of three, any good one must have all three, and this one has excellent examples.  I was graciously given a download code for this by my dear friend Shlib since he won a giveaway but decided that it wasn't his type of game, so thanks homie!

So first thing's first - this is a SHORT VN.  We're talking probably eight hours for every ending.  It's also not going to knock your socks off; it's no Muv-Luv Extra.  It is, however, a solidly enjoyable game with several spots for dialogue choices to affect the course of the MC's relationship with the waifus.  The basic premise is that you're a reformed ruffian who flunked his college entrance exams and gets a job as a waiter at a café while he waits to try his luck again at getting into college.  This isn't technically a maid café, but the attire is basically "skimpy maid" for the women, and other than the cook, he's the only male employee.  So it's basically a maid café.  He also lives with his childhood friend (automatically best girl; I don't make the rules) who, unlike him, did not flunk her exams and is in her first year of college to be a nurse.  She's also completely and totally obsessed with cute girls and idols.

The game is published by Winged Cloud, the glorious degenerates who brought you the absolutely massive Sakura franchise on Steam (Sakura Succubus, Sakura Agent, Sakura Santa, Sakura Beach, so on and so forth).  With that said, you pretty much know what you're getting here - giant boobs, inexplicably single waifus, a totally boring protagonist who somehow has drop-dead gorgeous women madly in love with him, etc.  If that's not your cup of tea, then I can absolutely promise that you won't like anything about this game.  If that sounds even somewhat appealing to you, then you should probably get this game.  It's not a kinetic visual novel as you do get to make choices that affect the outcome, but given its short length, there's not a whole great deal to see here.  This is probably the shorted visual novel I've read in a few years if not ever, but I definitely enjoyed getting to know the characters.  As law dictates, there's a tsundere waifu, so if that's your thing, rest assured, they've got you covered.

Honestly, there's only so much I can say about it without just telling you the entire plot.  It's a visual novel shorter to read than the Lord of the Rings trilogy is to watch.  You've got three waifus to pick from.  The game ends right as you start getting into it, basically forcing you buy the as-of-yet-unreleased sequel (at least on Switch; it's out on Steam).  It's a good time, though, and the perfect length for a long car, bus, or plane ride.  Or a power outage.  Since it's a visual novel, it puts next to no strain on the Switch, so a fully charged battery is more than enough for you to see every ending and dialogue choice.  At $10, it's a pretty steep asking price given how short it is, but it's definitely worth throwing on your wishlist and waiting for a sale.

Also available on PlayStation 4 and Windows

From the brilliant mind that brought you Epic Dumpster Bear and Epic Dumpster Bear 2: He Who Bears Wins, the video game indictments of unrestrained capitalism that you never knew you needed, comes JankBrain, the video game indictment of cryptocurrency and global plutocracy that you never knew you needed.  I, along with my friend Jordan, have a truly bizarre and irrational adoration for Epic Dumpster Bear, so when we saw that a platformer in the same style starring one of the bosses from Epic Dumpster Bear 2 was coming out on Switch, we knew that we had to play it.

JankBrain, like Epic Dumpster Bear, is a 2D platformer that is, truthfully, rather simplistic.  That's not a criticism, though; it doesn't get bogged down with added gimmicks or anything.  The only gimmick here is the humor.  As far as control and mechanics go, the only major differences between JankBrain and Epic Dumpster Bear is that JankBrain doesn't slide nearly as much as Dumpster Bear did, and JankBrain has a laser attack.  While you can still bounce on top of most enemies to damage them, it doesn't do nearly as much damage as the laser.  The bounce is really more useful for landing safely than dealing damage.  The music, while not as catchy as Epic Dumpster Bear's in my opinion, fits the action in the game better; most people who went in blind without any Dumpster Bear experience would almost certainly say that the music is better in JankBrain.

I keep comparing JankBrain to Epic Dumpster Bear not only because they're the same style of game because they're at least ostensibly in the same bizarre universe.  I think.  JankBrain was the boss in World 4 of Epic Dumpster Bear 2, so they definitely exist in the same universe.  I haven't finished all the bonus levels in JankBrain, so I'm not sure if the Dumpster Bear will make an appearance there, but at the very least, the titular character made his debut as an enemy in the second Dumpster Bear game.  They also have the same type of humor.  The premise of JankBrain is that JankBrain is an alien from a species with a body mass that is roughly 90% brain (make sense considering that he's just a brain with arms and legs), but rather than argue about philosophy like everyone else on his planet, he wants to go subjugate another planet, so he goes to Earth and, seeing how obsessed with money we are, decides that the best way is to take over the global economy by stealing all of the gold from the world's central banks.  From there, the cutscenes after each boss lampoons how money is at the core of all human existence and, eventually, how stupid and actually worthless not only fiat currency but also cryptocurrency is.  For a teacher of history and economics like me, it's fantastic.

JankBrain is definitely not nearly as smooth or polished as a AAA platformer like Mario or Donkey Kong, but for a $5 indie game, it's extremely competent and a ton of fun.  The controls are tight, and while the hit detection is a little bit screwy -  you'll find yourself dying to hits you're positive you should have avoided albeit barely - it's a ton of fun.  The levels themselves are a great balance of easy to clear but very difficult to 100%, and the bosses are extremely challenging until you figure out the pattern.  All in all, it doesn't have the charm that Epic Dumpster Bear does, but it's an arguably better-made game.  If you're a fan of platformers, you absolutely owe it to yourself to play JankBrain.

Also available on PlayStation 4, Switch, and Windows

A lot of games these days incorporate mythology into their stories and worlds, but it’s almost always Greek, Norse, Egyptian, or Abrahamic.  Despite being the world’s third largest religion and the world’s oldest religion, Hindu mythology usually seems to get overlooked.  Not only does this neglect a huge source of narrative inspiration, but it also limits the representation for people from the world’s second most populous nation.  Raji, on the other hand, is a game that looks gorgeous, plays wonderfully, and has some fantastic storytelling, but it takes place in India and is steeped in Hindu mythology.

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Also available on Xbox One, Xbox Series X, PlayStation 4, Switch, and Windows

Also available on Windows

Also available on Xbox 360, Xbox One, Xbox Series X, PlayStation 4, and Windows

Alan Wake has been sitting on my 360 shelf for years, but for some reason, I've never gotten around to playing it.  When the remaster came out on PS5, I figured that was the ideal way to get into the game.  I always thought it looked like a cool sort of Twilight Zone horror game, and I honestly didn't realize how right about that I was.

You play as the titular Alan Wake, a thriller writer who's hit a two year writer's block and has gone with his wife to take a relaxing vacation to Bright Falls, Washington.  Alan is generally a pretty bright guy, for some reason, he doesn't think there's anything odd about a woman in a black dress with a black funeral veil standing in a dark corner by the bathrooms in a diner, so then spoopy things ensue.  His wife vanishes, the feds try to kill him, and a geriatric Viking Metallica has to help him.  It sounds dumb, and a lot of it is, but it's the best kind of dumb - out there enough to be funny but unobtrusive enough not to interfere with an otherwise serious and well-written story.

Since I never played Alan Wake on 360, I can't compare the two from first hand experience, but having seen video of the original release, it's clear that this remaster has gotten a well-deserved fresh coat of paint with more detailed textures and a much higher resolution, and the frame rate has been improved and stabilized dramatically.  That said, some of the mechanics still show that this is still, at its core, just a spruced up 360 game.  The movement and dodging mechanic, especially, don't feel new or fluid at all.  Alan Wake moves like a chunky tank with no speed or real agility at all - a little like Leon from Resident Evil 4 but without the sex appeal.  The dodge is also frustrating by which I mean it sometimes just doesn't work.  Maybe there's some secret to the mechanic that I missed, but I'd be moving around shooting at enemies, and I'd try to dodge an attack coming from the side, and half the time, he'd just stand there.  Even when the dodge does sometimes work, the enemies routinely stun-lock you into a three to five hit combo that will take you from full health to 10% health before you can even move.  As fun as the combat could be at times, it's also definitely the weakest part of the game.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed Alan Wake, but it's far from perfect even with the remaster.  The movement feels bumbling and clunky, the combat is fun at range but a pain up close, and the story, while a great blend of Stephen King, Twilight Zone, and Lovecraft, feels pretty mid-tier as far as horror game narratives go.  Still, while it may not be a jaw-dropping masterpiece, it's a solid thriller-horror game, and I definitely recommend it.  Heck, even if you've got a 360 copy lying around and don't want to buy the remaster, play that.  It's not gonna look as nice or run as smoothly, but the game itself should be pretty much the same, and it's definitely worth experiencing for fans of all things spoopy.

Cruis'n USA and Cruis'n World are two of the most iconic arcade racers on the N64 (plus the mixed reception Cruis'n Exotica), and a lot of Nintendo fans have long awaited a return to the wacky racing that the Cruis'n games brought in the 90s.  It took over 20 years (excluding the Game Boy Advance game; I'm just talking home console), but we finally have a new Cruis'n, and it's glorious.

Cruis'n Blast may not be the prettiest game out there - it honestly looks like one of the better PS3 games for the most part - but it's a TON of fun.  It honestly doesn't look bad, either; it's just not quite as pretty as Mario Kart 8, for example.  There are a few frame rate issues that I noticed here and there, but it never affected gameplay for me.  Still, though, a racing game is where you want smooth gameplay at all times, so it's worth mentioning.  The biggest disappointment here is that, while the game does support local multiplayer, there is no support whatsoever for online multiplayer.  There have been teases that an update to add online multiplayer may be in the works, but it's still a bit odd and disappointing for a racing game released in late 2021 to exclude any online connectivity.

The main game modes here are, obviously, your classic arcade levels that you've played if you've had the fortune to play a Cruis'n Blast arcade machine (shoutout to Boxcar in Raleigh, North Carolina), time trials, and a handful of tours comprising four races each.  Each of these tours have a theme; escaping the cops, extreme weather, etc.  One disappointing thing is that you'll see the arcade tracks repeated over and over again just with variations rather than two dozen distinct tracks.  It's not a deal breaker, but it is a bit of a bummer.

As is usually the case for me, my favorite part of the game was the unlocks.  There are 23 cars in the game, but only five are available at the start, leaving 23 to unlock.  Some of these are unlocked by clearing a certain tour and buying with money earned, but others are unlocked via keys found hidden throughout the game (three per stage).  In addition to unlocking the vehicles themselves, using them earns you xp for that vehicle, and leveling up your vehicle unlocks the ability to purchase neon accent lights, some aesthetic body modification, and an engine upgrade.  All in all, there's a lot to unlock which gives you ample reason to keep playing.

Cruis'n Blast isn't a perfect game, but it's a perfect "Nintendo" game if that makes sense.  It's just "fun" in the purest sense.  On paper, it should be a solidly mediocre game, but between the comfortable control mechanics, the rather "out there" vehicle selection, and the general wackiness of the game, it's just a goofy and extraordinarily enjoyable experience from start to finish.  It may not be as refined a local multiplayer racer as Mario Kart, but Cruis'n Blast definitely deserves a place on any Switch owner's shelf (or SD card) because for those times when you want to just relax and shoot the shit without committing homicide over a blue shell, Cruis'n Blast is the perfect choice.

Everyone talks about game remakes - and rightly so - but what doesn't get enough attention are game demakes - when you take a game and make a dramatically scaled back version for older hardware.  The most famous is probably the Chinese NES demake of Final Fantasy VII, but the most impressive as well as the most fun in my opinion is definitely Halo 2600, the aptly named Halo demake for Atari 2600.

2001's Xbox was the powerhouse console at the top of the spec lists of the 6th generation of console gaming, and 1977's Atari 2600 was the behemoth 2nd generation console that took the world (or at least America) by storm.  What do these two have in common?  Aside from being filled with Activision games of various quality, not much.  Except for Halo.  Created by Ed Fries, the guy who led the team that created the first Xbox and was key in acquiring studios like Rare and Bungie, Halo 2600 is a surprisingly good answer to the question "What if Halo had been created 20 years earlier?"  It's obviously got no story told outside of the instruction manual (as was the case with pretty much all of the 2600's games) and very crude sprite graphics, but it's probably the best game ever to fit on a 4 KB cartridge, at least in my opinion.

When you start the game, you're greeted to a 2600 version of the Halo theme.  The game itself plays a lot like a mix of Adventure and Berzerk.  The combat is a lot like Berzerk in that you have to shoot enemies while avoiding getting shot yourself, and the game seamlessly progresses from screen to screen like Adventure.  The enemies - really fantastically done sprites of Grunts and Elites - can shoot in any direction, but your pixel Master Chief can only shoot left or right, so it's important to get a feel for the controls and the timing of your attacks.

As you go through the game searching for keys to unlock the energy gates blocking your path, you'll get a gun upgrade (I like to imagine it's an upgrade from the assault rifle to the sniper rifle), a shield upgrade that lets you survive a single shot, and a boot upgrade that doubles your speed.  While there's only so much detail the 2600 can cram into a landscape, you do see a variety of trees, rocks, and weird energy...things...as you progress.  The culminating challenge is a final boss, a flying saucer-looking enemy, that you have to shoot several times to take out.  If you manage to defeat the boss, congratulations!  You beat the game!  It immediately restarts but with a red title screen indicating that you've progressed to "hard mode" which really just has you play the game again but moving at like one-quarter speed.

Halo 2600 may not stand up to the likes of Halo Infinite for a deep and engaging narrative experience, but it's an extremely impressive demake that manages to cram the core "feel" of Halo into just four measly kilobytes.  AtariAge, bless them, sold physical cartridges of this back in 2013 complete with box and instructional manual, although I imagine that most people played this on an emulator or a Harmony flash cartridge.  Regardless of how you play it, it's one of the 2600 I most readily recommend, and it's a must for those of in the intersection of "Halo fan" and "retro gamer."  It would be nice if there were a score counter or some enemy randomization for replay value, but it's a damn fun game nonetheless.