Also available on MS-DOS
What are the most 90s things you can think of? If you said bright colors, vaporwave, and rollerblades, you'd be correct. This game is also one of the most 90s things ever at least on the surface. Even the game's slogan - "The most RADICAL race on WHEELS" - is one of the most gloriously horribly 90s things. Like the rest of the 90s, this game sounds a whole lot better than it is.
The premise of the game is to win a rollerblade race. Okay, that checks out so far. Unfortunately, the only racing you do is against time, and they found a way to make rollerblades as un-fun as possible. You basically have some Chad "training" you to be a rollerblade superstar by making you skate as fast as possible through a town with worse road maintenance than South Carolina as you avoid potholes, open manholes, barrels sitting inexplicably in the middle of the road, dogs, and babies. If you fall three times, you lose a life. If you lose three lives, it's game over. If you run out of time, it's game over. If (read: when) you get bored and turn off your NES, it's game over although that one's a good thing.
If you manage to make it through twenty minutes of the most unappealing race-esque gameplay on the console, you read the big competition. You have to avoid barrels, make it through a cone obstacle course, and go through a few halfpipes (and then repeat that cycle two or three times) before the time runs out to finish the game. That's it. That's the whole game. Unless you get game over and have to start over (which is entirely likely; the last level before the competition is stupidly hard), it's over and done in less than half an hour.
My Rating - 1 Nep
I'm a teacher.
And I like to play video games. I like to collect video games. I like to talk about video games, and I like to write about video games. During the day, I teach high school history; during the night, I spend my spare time gaming. Then I write about it.